Rectifying Mistakes
by LanaElsie
Summary: What if Will got it wrong and Alicia wasn't going to leave with Cary to start a new firm. How would their relationship cope with the hurt and anger caused by Will wrecking her office in front of everyone? Complete AU, Will is not dead nor shall he ever be… First fic please be nice and comment. Thanks.
1. Chapter 1

'You were poison.' The vein in his neck stood out, throbbing in rhythm to his heart beat. It's all she could focus on, the beat beat beat of his heart. The tears threatening to spill forth from her eyes. She hates to admit it, never liked the feeling but she was well and truly confused. And embarrassed, never before had she been so embarrassed until she remembered that she had been, that somehow this was even worse.

When she was a child she used to ask questions left, right and centre.'Daddy, whys the sky blue?'. 'Because of the reflection from the sea, sweetheart.'. Her father always had the answers, she misses him more now than when he first past. Now with her life a shambles, work life a mess and the state of her love life. Her father would know, he would wrap her in his arms and tell her all the answers she wanted to know. Of course that couldn't happen, doubt it would even if he was here. There are no answers for this, none. She racks her brain, is it because they haven't had their talk yet, she's been putting it off, not sure what to say, not sure if she can trust herself to just talk. Not with the way his lips move, enticing, the images of them pressed hard against her own always vivid in her mind. She knows she should listen to what he's saying, should pay attention and find out why he just destroyed everything on her desk but as soon as he walked into her office she faded out, trying hard not to remember the feel of his hands on her thighs as he pulls her legs apart. The grip on her hips as he nears his own orgasm, the sound he makes, always makes and the four crescent moons she would find on her either side of her hips afterwards.

It has been getting harder now, to work with him and go home to Peter. To look Peter in the eye and tell him she loved him, she had resorted to a simple, me too, whenever he said it and the guilt she felt when she did always laid heavy on her heart. Especially when her children seemed so happy, finally, they deserved all the happiness they could have in their life. They had been through so much and it made her beam with pride at how well they had grown up. Young adults now her children and she couldn't believe how time flies, she wanted her babies back. Having them dependant on her for every little thing meant she could save them from all kinds of hurt. Not now though, now they had to make their own mistakes, heal their own hearts and Alicia wasn't ready to let them go.

She's being lead from her office now, security on each side of her, she turns to Will and comes back to the present, looks around and sees that everyone is staring, some with shocked expressions and some smug, like David Lee, bowl of M and Ms in his hand, smirking like this was the movies. Like her life was simply for his entertainment. Thats when she lost it and turned to him, thunder in her eyes and he startles back just slightly, just enough that she notices.

Alicia steps towards him, 'What is happening here, Will. Why are you doing this?' Her face softens as she says it, her doe eyes round with unshed tears. And he laughs in her face hollow and cold and it frightens her. Never did she think he could be like that with her, not her Will, not her Mr. Georgetown. Not the man who placed candles and heaters and copious blankets and pillows on the roof of his apartment so they could make love under the stars without her ever getting cold. That man couldn't have looked at her with such hate that it froze her to the core. Will sneers at her, 'You were poison. You were going to take everything from this firm…'

'What Will I don't understand…' a small drop of sweat is forming on her brow now, from the strain of keeping her tears unchecked and the embarrassment she's trying so hard not to show. She remembers all the times Will made her sweat, beads dripping on the curve of her back, down her throat.

Will's face contours into a snarl, 'After everything I've done for you and your still lying to my face. Get out!'

'No. Will I'm …' Will snaps then and she honestly for a second thinks he will hit her, slap her right across the face for all the pain she has trodden his heart through. But no he grips her forearm gently, given his rage and pushes her towards to elevator. 'GET OUT!' he barks at her. And looking at his eyes, she can see nothing but pain and unshed tears of his own. Too shocked to even think, she backs slowly, her whole body shaking into the elevator as she watches him disappear and the doors close in front of her.

Alicia struggles to get the keys out her bag, she couldn't even seem to get them into the car door before she remembered she just had to press a button and the lock would open. Her whole body shook and as she slides into the drivers seat she slumps over and exhales, giant sobs rack her body. It seems like hours, days she sits there, confused and hurt and overall pissed off. Wiping her eyes she fixes herself and drives away out of the parking lot. The thunder still in her eyes.

Will turns round to face the crowd of spectators that have gathered to watch him chew out Alicia and spit her back out again. Good. He hopes she was ashamed and embarrassed, he glares at the crowd then booms, 'Work! Now!'.

He smirks as his employers all jump right back to work, picking up unanswered phones, looking over files as if nothing had just happened. He notices David Lee picking up M and Ms from the floor he laughs to himself. It'll teach him right, and what was with him and M and Ms anyway. Walking back past Alicia's office, now old office he barks at a passing receptionist to clear the mess and send Alicia her stuff. He continues to his office where Diane is waiting for him. Of course she is, there's not like there's a hundred different things needed done to run a successful law firm, she has plenty of time to stand in his office and glare at him.

'Don't Diane, it had to be done. She was leaving, you said so yourself, we have to find out what clients they stole, try and convince them it'll be better off to stay. Not at some newbie firm without a home.'

'I wasn't going to say anything. Definitely nothing about how you just fired Alicia escorted her out the building and theres still at least 12 other associates that were jumping ship still in our offices including Cary.' Diane shakes her head as she says this, she looks at Will pity evident in her eyes. Squeezing his shoulder, exasperation clouding her face she ask him, 'You want me to handle the rest, you can head home take a break…'

Will interrupts before she can even finish, 'And let you and David have all the fun. I don't think so.' He smirks as he says this and holds the door to his office open for Diane, 'Ladies first.'

Diane half heartedly laughs as she follows Will through their offices to fire at least 12 of their own associates.

He would remember this day, always, when Cary uttered those words as a final parting shot. They had been expecting it, the associates, as soon as they saw Will roaring at Alicia they new they had been caught. With what they only assumed was minutes until they were kicked out right along with her, they gathered as many of their files as they could and clearing everything important from their desks.

As soon as they saw Diane and Will heading their way they were ready to leave. Each one was escorted out in a much less brutal manner than Alicia, some even apologising, whether it was sincere or not was left to be wondered. Cary was the last to leave and just before the doors closed he pushes them open. He can see Will has already started to walk away, and he raises his voice, shouts even, 'Will…Will…look just so you know. Alicia…' Will turns and glares at him grunts, 'Alicia what!'.

Cary looks around and sees that again everyone has stopped to listen, they always do, when its about Alicia. He sighs then lifts his head only slightly, 'Will, I don't know what you heard or who told you but Alicia was never coming with us. I did even ask her. Always new she'd say no.' He steps back into the elevator and the doors shut leaving Will standing there everyone turns to look at him. Pure rage contorts his face, his fist connects with the wall before anyone can utter a single word. 'FUCK!'


	2. Chapter 2

**So I just want to say thank you all for the lovely comments, as this is my first fanfic they are all greatly appreciated so keep them coming. I am hoping to make this a multi chapter fanfic and will try and update regularly. **

Veronica loves her daughter really she does, how could she not when she looks just like her father. It's hard sometimes, the resemblance, the reminder of her first husband but she loves Alicia none the less. When Alicia was a child It was always 'Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!' First words, first steps towards him fists raised in the air to be held and it never bothered her, never.

She loved her children and she loved her husband but she also loved herself and when Alicia was young and Owen younger still, she just couldn't cope with the lack of presence from her husband. Working all the time, sure it was to provide for their family, she wouldn't begrudge him that but once in a while a surprise of him coming home early, taking the random day off to spend with her wouldn't have gone a miss. Just something to remind her of what she once felt for this man, the father of her children.

He was a good Dad, and a good man but she knew she had to let him go. How could her children be happy if she so desperately wasn't. Her husband never quite understood why she did it, why they couldn't stay together. 'For the sake of the children, Veronica, please.' he pleaded with her and she would feel her resolve start to weaken until he said those words, 'For the children.' She told herself thats why she had to do it, 'I don't want my children to grow up and be unhappy with their life because they feel they have to, you have to understand that.' And of course he did, he understood. And their relationship crumbled and flaked away but they still loved each other in that way you love someone you used to love more than anything, still cared for their children together and ultimately they were happier apart.

Veronica tried countless times to explain it to Alicia, to have her realise that her mother wasn't just being selfish but it didn't matter, Alicia was too much like her father and forever saw Veronica as the woman who broke up their family. The woman to force her to be happy of all things.

Veronica was a free spirit, she loved sex and travel and never quite felt herself if she stayed in one place to long, with one man. Not one bit of this rubbed off on her daughter and it saddened her to no end that Alicia would rather doom herself to an unhappy life for her children than break free and be happy, damn the consequences.

Their relationship could be better, Veronica will openly admit that and most of her intel on her own daughters life comes from Owen her youngest, which does sting quite a bit. She remembers when Alicia was 17, she used to go to the library at all times of the day, weeknights and weekends. She just figured Alicia was a study freak, though nothing of it, even urged her to go out and have fun. That was until she spied Alicia coming home one night, it was late not like her at all when she saw the young man step up with Alicia to the door. She's not ashamed to say that she hung out the window to get a better view.

Alicia and Jason had been going out for 3 months now and she was very much smitten with him, as he lead her up the walkway to her house she couldn't help but blush over what had happened near the lake. She hadn't planned on it, she was lucky Jason had protection with him because she didn't think they would've been able to stop. It hurt at first but he was so gentle and caring, covering her lips, her jaw and her breasts with kisses as he eased into her. She hadn't expected it to be amazing and in truth it wasn't she didn't orgasm the first time but she enjoyed the look on Jason's face when he did. She kissed him harder because of it. The ride home was dawning on her, she wanted to stay in his arms but she feared her mother would ask questions if she got home too late. When the car pulled up outside her house the lights were off and she was for once thankful for her mothers free spirit and lack of rules. She left the car and made it halfway up the driveway when Jason pulled her back for a kiss. A toe curling, body shivering kiss, he walked her backwards towards her front door and held her there. Peppering her face with kisses, his hand on her butt, under her skirt. 'God I can't wait to make love to you again.' He whispered to her whilst licking the shell of her ear. She pushes him away only slightly, blushing she says, 'We only just did it Jason, but I'll see you tomorrow, okay.' She gives him one last peck on his lips before making her way into the house. They never heard the short gasp come from the top window of her mothers room.

Turns out Owen knew all about Jason and Alicia, and Veronica was able to get the skinny on their relationship from him. It hurt that she didn't even know her own daughter had a boyfriend never mind that they had had sex. Instead of talk to Alicia like a normal parent she left a box of condoms in her room and never said a word. Alicia figured Owen got them for a joke and it was never mentioned, not even two months later when Alicia stopped 'going to the library' all the time and would mope around the house.

Then when your own daughter doesn't tell you she's pregnant for the first time but your ex-husband does. It smarts. Veronica wanted to share in the joy of a grandchild with Alicia even if she did think it was to soon for them to start a family, and she said that to Alicia at the time, regrets it to this day. Not being there to see her own daughter blossom with child, lying about a guy, a cruise some retreat so she didn't make Alicia feel guilty about not wanting her own mother there through her pregnancy. But with all that Veronica loves Alicia and through it all that remains fiercely true.

Thats why when Owen calls to tell her theres a video online of her daughter being flung out her office, of Will Gardener pushing her into an elevator she sees red. You see she was rooting for Will, she was very much his cheerleader behind Owen when it came to him and Alicia getting together thats why it made her so mad. Thats why she didn't think when she got into her car and why she didn't think as she pushed the button to the 23rd floor and especially why she didn't think when she walked into Lockhart/Gardner fury etched across her face. and roared 'Gardner!', at the top of her lungs.

**Okay, yeah so I love Stockhard Channing and I think she should be given more screen time on The Good Wife. I also had no real idea of how the fall out would begin but this idea kind of came to me and I thought it would be fun to see angry mama veronica… Comments Appreciated. **


	3. Chapter 3

**So I'm enjoying taking a look at each of the different characters for each chapter. I may do this for just a few then be just Alicia or I may not…who knows. Hope you like it though. Any thoughts comment please.**

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Jesus christ does his hand hurt, and not just in an annoying throbbing way. This is a full blown fire in the wrist please cut it off kind of way. Never before had he been so angry and never before had that anger been directed at himself. Diane made him go to the doctors to get his hand seen to. Apparently fingers aren't meant to bend that way, who knew. The looks on everyones faces when he exploded in rage are fresh in his mind. He keeps trying to remember them, remember them all to try and avoid the look on Alicia's face when he pushed her in that elevator. The tears in her eyes.

No, he can't think of it just now, not ever, if there was anyway to start the day over again he would take it in a heartbeat. The look on David Lees face when Cary retreated back into the elevator, well it said it all. If even David Lee can look and feel bad then he must of really went too far with Alicia.

Looking around the emergency room he see's a tall blonde nurse walking into the waiting area. She gives him that the look, you know the one where they tilt the head forward, talk to someone else but stare at you through their lashes before they get your attention and turn away. He could you know, even with his mangled hand he could fuck her. Drown all his sorrows and his pathetic excuse of a life in her full pert breasts. But blondes never where his type, always brunettes, after Alicia it was always brunettes. And then he's thinking of her again. Of the sound she made as he slide into her for the first time in that penthouse suite. Of the way her eyes rolled back into her head and she gasped, dragging her nails down his back drawing blood. How he didn't even notice until after, too lost in watching her fall apart under him. Feeling how her thighs shook as she neared, her breath quickened and her head tilted. How when it was over she looked at him though her lashes, the apples of her cheeks flushed and she smiled. A smile that melted his heart and ruined him for other women, for how could anyone else measure up to an ounce of what he had in his arms at that moment.

That blonde is back again, notices the slight flushed look on his face, thinks it because of her. No one could make William Gardner blush like Alicia Florrick and he sighs when his name is called and he taken in to have his hand seen.

Walking back into his office, conscious of the splint around his right hand he tries to hide it under his suit sleeve avoiding the gazes of his employees. So far the morning had not gone well. After being seen by the doctor the night before he was given heavy painkillers which he drowned when he got home with whiskey and self pity.

Waking up this morning had not been pretty, as much as he wanted to crawl into the hole that was his bed the constant ringing of his phone from across the room was too much to handle and he grudgingly made is way to the shower. Halfway between sleep and consciousness he made his way into work, forgoing his car and having his door man call him a taxi. All he could hope for was that he wasn't in court today as there was no way he could handle it.

The road to his office was paved with regret, the looks from his fellow colleagues and employees was not at all helping and when he made it back to his office, he of course saw Diane sitting in his seat, looking at his files.

'Diane, how nice of you to make yourself at home in my office, in my chair. What do you want?'

'You look like crap, you know that right.'

'Thanks, I figured, nice of you to point it out though.'

Diane gets up and walks around the desk to stand in front of Will.

'How's the hand?'

'It's fine.'

'Hows the head?'

"it's fine.'

'Are you deliberately being obtuse and acting like a sullen teenager or is it just the meds talking?'

'Look Diane, I don't have time for this I have work to do and I really just want to sit down and not think, is that okay with you?'

'No, Will its not okay incase you have forgotten we have a lot of work to do. Twelve of our associates just started their own firm with a number of our own clients. Clients we need Will, if we want to stay above water. Not to mention the fact that your little debacle with Alicia was filmed by a member of our staff and put on the god damn internet! Now you better publicly apologise for that mistake because we cannot lose anymore clients because my idiot of a partner man handled the governors wife!'

Will takes a step back and sits on his sofa, head in his hands. Of course someone filmed it all, in this day and age he surprised it wasn't streamed live on the news given it was the governors wife. Dear god she must hate him, he knows how much Alicia hates being on the news, being talked about and judged. Being pitied. And now its happening again and he's the bad guy, he can't be the one to swoop in and save her anymore because he is the problem.

Diane sits next the him on the arm of the sofa,

'I know it's hard, we both thought she was leaving, David Lee thought she was leaving, all the evidence pointed that she was. I just, I'm sorry Will but we need to have some sort of mediation or offer her a pay rise or something to get her back or at least to placate the media out cry we just created by going after 'Saint Alicia'.'

'Don't call her that, you know she hates it. I'll call, explain and I'll ask her to come in this afternoon. I'll even offer her my office if she'll come back to the firm. That okay?'

'It's fine.' Diane says with a smirk as she pats Will on the back then goes to exit his office, she turns as she makes it to the door, 'Just don't offer her my office okay? I like the view.'

Diane can hear Will's laughter as she makes her way across the hall to her own office.

Taking a deep breath he picked up the phone and dialled her number, those three rings took an age in his mind but when she answered when her breathy voice said that one simple word, 'Hello…' His mind went blank for a second, then he relied, 'Alicia…' Will coughs to clear his throat, take another breath.

'Alicia, its me Will..'

'I have caller ID, I know its you.'

'Oh right yes, well, look, do you wan..I mean could you.. it's just…'

The silence that follows is deafening, Alicia thinks whether or not she should hang up, I mean she figures she owes him nothing now, but that one part of her, that young college student who has always loved Will Gardner and always will stops her from ending the call. Will can't believe that he just drew a blank, why couldn't he think, why couldn't he stop looking at the door to his bathroom. Remembering that time he took her up against the back of the door, how he had to cover her mouth with his hand to stop her from screaming out as he thrust mercilessly into her, when she bit into his hand and came at the same time. He was done for after that, two more thrusts and he emptied himself inside her. Laughing as he had to steady her as she stood on her two feet, swaying slightly. How just the sound of her voice brings these memories back he will never know. How she can make him feel like a stuttering virgin he will never admit.

Will has the phone grasped tightly in his hand,

'Leesh…I'm sorry…'

'I know, they're always sorry.'

'Come into the office meet with me and Diane, I need to apologise in person…'

'I don't think..'

'Please just for ten minutes please.'

'Okay, … I'll be there at two.'

Relief floods his system as he hangs up the phone. Looking at his watch, two o'clock, that gives him four hours to figure out what to say that will convince her stay.

Pacing in his office all morning had done nothing for his nerves, and his wrist and fingers were throbbing again. He needed air and coffee, good coffee not the stuff they served from the machines in the office. Making his way through the office he noticed its distinct emptiness. He had forgotten about the twelve associates they had fired yesterday, he should most likely talk to Diane about what they were going to do about all that. It still made him mad, a simmering rage beneath the surface but not as mad as it once did, not as mad as it did when he thought she was leaving.

Looking up to press the button to the elevator the doors ding open, he doesn't know what he was expecting or who he was expecting to walk out of that elevator. What he knows for sure is that he did not expect Veronica Loy to thunder out of those doors, rage in her eyes directed right at him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while. All my uni deadlines came at once and I panicked then procrastinated some more than panicked again. And then I struggled on how I wanted this chapter to be. Anyway I hope you enjoy it. Comment if you love/hate/want more. Thank you to all those who have commented so far. I'll try and update regularly from now on.**

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Veronica walks straight up to Will and hits him squarely in the chest with her fist. 'You're a grade A asshole you know that!' Will backs up slightly from Veronica looking abashed and rubbing his chest. 'Veronica maybe we could go into my office.' Will states this while looking at the audience they had attracted on the reception floor.

Veronica storms past him and makes her way towards his office, but stops to glare at David Lee, 'David' 'Hello Vicky.' They then walk past each other without another word, Will isn't quite sure where to look and continues rubbing his chest. He catches Diane shooting him a look from one of the conference rooms. Obviously having Alicia's irate mother in the office is not helping to calm the shit storm he started yesterday.

He loves Diane and hates her in the same moment. This is her fault really, she told him that Alicia was planning to leave, there was no way she didn't know how badly he would react to that. What if she had handled it herself. Then he could've swooped in and played the hero coming to Alicia's defence. Maybe she would have fallen to her knees to thank him, looked at him with her big eyes and opened her mouth to thank her knight in shining armour. Who is he kidding, Alicia doesn't need a prince. And as much as he would love Alicia on her knees thanking him, theres no way she would approve of him coming to her rescue. He can't be mad at Diane, she was only doing what she thought was right, only trying to protect him, her partner. As much as he hates the situation he's in just now, he can't really blame her. He could've stayed calm and simply asked Alicia if she was leaving, he didn't have to go all Mr Hyde on her and throw the contents of her desk all over the place. But in hindsight you can always see the better ways to handle a situation.

Once Diane had told him, he couldn't feel anything other than the pain in his chest. The humiliation and rage that Alicia could do something like that to him. But of course she wouldn't, there was no way she would and he hates that he didn't know that. He hates that he couldn't have just taken one look into her eyes and see the fear and confusion when he started shouting.

Veronica is sitting on his couch now, staring at him, her eyes pinched and mad. He doesn't know quite what to say, sorry doesn't seem appropriate so he goes with nothing. What could be bad about saying nothing, except nothing gets you nothing and there are so many times where he wishes he had said something, anything.

The truth about how he truly felt, how he couldn't breathe without her. But he always went with nothing and when he went with something it was usually when he should've said nothing at all. Life sucks he thinks, what he wouldn't do to be able to re do it all.

Veronica raises an eyebrow now, has been watching his internal debate with himself. She smiles just slightly. ' You love her don't you, you love her and you'e fucked it all up and now you have no idea how to fix it.'

'It doesn't matter that I love her, she's with Peter, he's the governor. I don't…why did you come here Veronica?'

Veronica gets up off the couch and walks to the seat Will is now sitting in, she lifts his chin so his face is looking up on to hers.

' Listen, you may be an asshole but that husband of hers has reeked of bullshit since the day I met him. I'm here because my baby is in pain. And you caused that pain. Now I suggest you get down on your pretty little hands and knees and beg for forgiveness because I will not stand idly by as my daughter is hurt. Not again.'

' I think you should leave now Veronica, we're getting some strange looks, it wont be long till we were screwing under my desk.'

'Excuse me,'

'It's an office full of gossips, not to mention some jackass employee of mine put that video up online of Alicia.'

'I did see that. You'll have a lot of begging to do.'

'I already called you know. She said she would come in at two. Let me apologise in person.'

Veronica walks towards the office door and is about to leave when she turns back to Will.

'David um he hasn't said anything about me has he?'

'No I don't think so, you could go talk to him if you want. He should be in his office.'

'Okay. Maybe. You better get ready, Alicia will be here soon. That apology better be good or I'll come back here and it won't be just your chest I punch got it?'

'Yes mam!'

Will jokingly salutes Veronica as she walks out his office. Phew that wasn't so bad, and he didn't even think his chest would bruise. She still believed in him, thought he was good enough for her daughter. For Alicia. Alicia. God what is he going to say to her, getting on his hands and knees to beg for forgiveness sounds like the only plan he has just now. Maybe he should just truth bomb her. Just let it all out. All the emotions he's kept to himself for the last, well since GeorgeTown.

Will remembers one night in college, it was third year and the whole class was out at some bar celebrating the end of one of their exams, they still had plenty ahead of them but for tonight they all felt like they deserved a break. He had to drag Alicia out, of course he did. But she came and was currently on her 3rd beer and second shot of the night. He wanted her to have fun, let her hair down. Courtney was here tonight, a nice little red head he had been seeing. She was fun and cute. With an incredible ass but he just wasn't in it. Not really for anything other than the sex which was good. But he wanted more, he wanted Alicia, dear god how he wanted Alicia. She was laughing. He could hear her laugh form the other end of the bar even over all the noise, and if it didn't send jolts all the way to his crotch he didn't love basketball. The night started to wear on. Courtney was dancing with an english lit major trying to make him jealous and Alicia was dancing by herself, swaying her hips and arms in the air he walks towards her. Puts his hands on her hips and whispers in her ear.

"You're drunk, I'm telling.'

'Will Gardner, don't you dare.'

Alicia laughs and flings her arms in the air again her butt wiggles against him and he can feel himself stir in his pants. Alicia sways to close to the left and Will grabs her, stopping her from falling over.

' I think its time to get you home and to bed Leesh.'

'What no I'm not even tired yet.' Alicia whined while Will lead her out the bar and into the street.

Back at his apartment, because Alicia couldn't find her keys, Will put her to bed and watched her fall asleep, he then took a blanket and slept on the couch like the gentleman he never was around other women.

When morning came Will himself was slightly hungover and in his hungover state he forgot Alicia was in his bedroom and therefore got up in all his naked glory and went to his kitchen to make coffee. Taking a sip he heard noise coming from the bedroom and remembered that Alicia was there. Before he could do anything Alicia walks out of the bedroom in one of his old t-shirts, her legs bare and her hair a beautiful mess. She stops when she sees him standing, can't help but look at him. Her eyes dragging over his body and stopping on his exposed lower half.

'Oh'

Alicia face burned red but she couldn't stop looking at him. And he in return couldn't help but look at her legs and wish that the shirt rose an inch or two higher. His legs moved of their own free will and propelled him towards her, he doesn't know who started it first but suddenly their lips met, tongues stroked and hands wandered.

Of course thats what he wanted to happen, what he hoped would. But in reality, Alicia had walked out and as soon as she saw him ran back into his bedroom. Thats when he knew, he loved her.

It was 2.04pm. The clock was going so slow it could've been moving backwards. Will couldn't keep still, his legs paced him round his office so many times he could see the carpet start to wear out. Where was she, it wasn't like Alicia to be late, in fact he was expecting her to be early. Looking at his watch for the hundredth time, he hears his phone ring. Its Alicia.

'Hey, are you running late? I could make it 2.30 if that suits you better. '

'No Will, I'm outside. At the park.'

'The park? Did you have to get the tube? I could've come and picked…'

'No it's not. I don't want to walk back in there. Not now Will.'

'Okay. No thats fine, I'll come to you. Just stay where you are I'll find you.'

Will puts the phone down before she can answer him. He was scared she'd say no and leave. She aways seemed to be leaving him.

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**Okay. Let me know what you guys all think. What you would like to see happen/not happen? I haven't got the next chapter written yet. I'm torn between Will's or Alicia's perspective for it…**


	5. Chapter 5

**I would like to thank everyone who has so far read and enjoyed my story. A special thank you to all those who comment, my love knows no bounds. From the comments it seems Alicia's perspective for this chapter is the favourite. I am inclined to agree. I hope you all enjoy and continue to read I am unsure how many chapters I will make this fic. Just have to wait and see. I'm also very sorry for the delay of this chapter, I have had it for a few weeks and wasn't at all happy with it, then i went to work at a summer camp in Minnesota and well theres only internet at night as we aren't allowed to use it in front of the children. Please forgive me i will try and get more chapters for you soon.**

**Also I own none of these characters they belong to the Kings…All hail the Kings…**

Have you ever been truly mortified, not just, oh I just walked out the bathroom with my skirt tucked in my underwear embarrassed. Have you ever had someone you thought loved you embarrass you? Yes, haven't we all. The occasional embarrassing sex story or the time you got so drunk you had to be carried home and puked all over the new curtains you spent hours choosing in the fabrics store. Yes, we all have those kinds of stories. But have you ever been truly mortified by someone you love or care for deeply? Had them do it in front of millions of people. No? Well, lucky you.

When I found out Peter had cheated, with his whores and his Kalinda's I was just in shock, the embarrassment didn't register until after. The pitying looks and the smirks of the women who would whisper frigid behind my back. And I thought I had grown used to it, out grown the hurt and the comments. I thought I had a thicker skin because of all that.

Well, I was wrong, and I'm not one who likes to admit that. But after watching the video online of Will pushing me in that elevator, of seeing the amount of people, my coworkers, who just stared and watched and said nothing. Of Cary who must have known what was happening but did nothing. I feel mortified, that again people get to view my humiliation on a grander scale.

The phone call from Will was expected, well to be honest it was rather unexpected. I was hoping he would come to my door, banging and shouting that he was sorry that he was a fool. But no a nice simple phone call. Then for him to ask me to go back there, to meet him in the same place I was just thrown out of the day before. I panicked and said yes. What else was I to do, I had to stay calm. I'm pretty sure Grace has me on some sort of suicide watch. Always in earshot in case I do something stupid. That damn video, Grace would be at her fathers just now if it wasn't for that video. I think she saw how much it broke me. And it hurts that she had to see it, that she feels she has to look after me.

Even after everything, after her fathers video and the press and the interviews and the 'She looks frigid.' I've been able to hold my head high, rise above it and don't let them see it break you. But with Will, with Will I could always let my defences down. I could share with him anything and I knew that I loved him. I may have never once admitted it to him or to myself. But that day in the office when I sobbed out that it was to much. I wasn't lying. It was just to much. All those feelings and not for my husband. With my children at home. I didn't want to be seen like Peter, so I stopped. I stopped for Peter and for my kids and for Will. It wasn't fair to him. To have to hide and pretend that none of it was real. I could see in his eyes that he wanted nothing more than to hold my hand in public. And it hurt inside that I couldn't give him that simple thing. So ending it really was for everyone except me. It tore me up inside. And then having to work with him and see him everyday.

The phone call was civil to say the least. I thought I would be more mad, enraged. I know Peter was and Eli, they were already after me to make a statement to the press about the whole incident. But I couldn't get up there and say what they would want me to say. To say how hard and traumatic the whole experience was for me. How I was disgusted by the treatment and that Peter, my dutiful husband would be looking into the matter further. Bullshit! Peter was just happy I wasn't working next to Will anymore. I used to believe Peter when he acted concerned for me, when he wanted to make me feel better. But now I cant seem to separate the thought that he is just out for himself. Looking for how the situation will benefit him in the long run. He wanted to stay the night of course after he came to console me. I almost shoved the knife I was using at the time to cut the onions into his balls. But i restrained myself gave him the 'Alicia Stare' as my mother and Owen cal it, then asked him to politely leave.

Two o'clock isn't to far away. I don't know if I should dress in a suit or jeans or a dress. No, no dress. Suit. Pant suit. Something simple and black. And sexy. Wait, no not sexy that would be to obvious just something pretty and simple.

I went with a pair of boot cut jeans and a red sweater and boots, not Kalinda type boots mind you, I don't think anyone bar Kalinda could pull them off. I wore brown ankle boots and pulled on my jacket. I looked at myself in the mirror. The dark circles that outline my eyes, the creases in the corners. I look tired and sad and old. I wipe a tear from my eye and walk back into my bedroom. I undress rapidly, angrily. Angry at them all, at Peter and Eli and Will and even David god dammed Lee and especially Cary. This is Cary's fault he could have stood up and said something to Will sooner but instead he used me as a scape goat and thats what really pisses me off.

I decide on the red dress, the one Will loves, the one he can't stop looking at me in. I spend an extra 15 minutes on my face, blending out the dark circles and creases and eyeliner to make my eyes look bigger. Then a dark red lipstick and I'm done. I'm ready to have Will grovel on his knees asking for my forgiveness.

Walking out the door I slam it behind me, thanking god that Grace is at school and not her to witness any of what just went on.

I make it to outside the building. A building that I have walked through, ran through, even sauntered through and I just can't will myself to go in. I face the all and looking like this, I knew the eyeliner was to much. I can see my reflection in the glass in front of me, always with the glass at work. It's like they want to know everyones secrets cause I know there hard to keep in that place. I look myself up and down and can't help but notice that I look like something Peter would pay for. I walk back away from the building and into the nearest park. I pull out my phone and call Will.

The least he could do was meet me, instead of making me walk back into that that place. A place that hold so many memories, good and bad. The place where Will and I could take it anymore, the train and slight touches and the knowledge of what would happen when we got to the hotel room that we had booked for that night. When it was just one long lingering look to much and suddenly I was pulled into his bathroom, door slamming shut as he pressed me hard against the door. His prominent arousal straining into me through his pants. I let out a loud moan just then when I had felt it and he smothered it with a rough hard kiss. I was over quick theres no doubt about that, the both of us knowing how dangerous it was and what would happen if anyone had walked into his office and heard us. He slipped his hands under my skirt and pulled my panties out of the way a quick couple of flicks of his talented fingers and I was keening for him already. Just when I looked him in the eyes and breathed out his name he pushed into me, harder and harder until we both climaxed at the same time, shuddering all around him. Then there was the bad memories the time where I had to threaten to yell to get Kalinda out of my office, when I lost my best friend and had my trust broken yet again.

So many memories in that building and I'm not at all strong enough just now to go back in and face them. I look up and towards the building and can see Will walking towards me, he looks concerned and it's only then that I realise the tears that have again slipped down my face. I wipe them away and look at him. Can't help but be in love with him and hate him at the same time.

**Thanks for reading! And again I am super sorry about the wait, I shall try and upload the next chapter as soon as possible within the next day or two. Don't worry I haven't abandoned the story I just may not be able to post that much over the summer due to lack of internet. Again comments are like gold.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Again I am apologising for the wait for the last chapter. I hope that this one makes up for the wait. Thanks to everyone who reads and enjoys my story and bigger thanks to those who comment. Hope you enjoy.**

**Again I do not own the good wife, the Kings do.**

He sits down next to her looks at her tear stained face and can't help but think that he's the reason she is upset,that he made her cry. The woman he loves and she is sitting next to him in tears for something he did. He goes into his pocket and pulls out a tissue, hands it to her.

She takes the tissue and notices him bandaged up hand. Looks at him. 'What happened?'. She looks at his hand again and back to him conveying that she is talking about his hand and not them, not their relationship, friendship, partnership just his hand. He laughs, swipes his broken hand through his hair and looks at her. Notices the tight red dress she is wearing and even though she is sad and he feels awful he still needs to adjust his pants slightly. He looks at her now in the eye, 'I may have gotten mad and punched a wall. If you think this is bad you should see the wall.' Alicia shakes her head, 'Were you that mad at me for something I didn't do that you broke your hand?'

'What no! Alicia, I did this after you had left, after I had made you leave. When Cary told me he hadn't even asked you to come with him. That he knew you wold say no. I was that mad at myself.'

Will looks back up at her uses his good hand to wipe the tear running down her face and then tuck her lose strands of hair behind her ear. She almost leans into the touch, almost. She stops herself in time and pulls away from him.

'That's…just don't do that okay. You don't get to do that. Not anymore.'

'Leesh I'm so sorry. I just lost it when Diane told me she thought you were leaving as well. That you had a meeting with Sweeney and some of our other top clients the week before. She, we thought you were leaving, stealing our clients and leaving us, leaving me.'

'You didn't even think to ask me Will. You just assumed right away that I would leave you, leave the firm.'

'I can't explain it Alicia. Just the thought of you leaving made me so mad and destroyed. I couldn't think straight. You know thats what happens when your around me. I just wanted you to hurt as bad as me because you were leaving me and I never really even got to have you be mine.'

Will slumps forward and looks at his hands, remembers what it was like to take his hands and run them along her body. How if you rubbed of pressed in certain points, behind her knee, her hip that she would squeal and moan. And that just his hands had caused those reactions astounded him.

'Peter wants me to make a statement.'

'Peter what?' Will looks up at Alicia then, his look says it all. Peter is an asshole.

'And Eli. They think it would be good to clear the air and make Peter into the concerned, angry husband. The video is everywhere Will, they can all watch it whenever they want, see that whenever they want. And all I can do is make a statement telling them how humiliated and hurt by what happened. Like everyone doesn't already know what. That they can't see it from the video.'

'Don't do it then. Don't make a statement, it'll blow over and they ill forget.'

Alicia laughs then a harsh laugh, she gets up and straightens out her dress, wipes under her eyes and gives Will her best Alicia stare but it just doesn't hold the same effect with all the hurt in her eyes. She looks right at Will then,

'You don't understand. People never really forget. They may not think about it in there everyday life but whenever I meet someone knew and tell them my name the first thing they think is 'oh the wife whose husband slept with whores' and know they will also think 'didn't her boss through her out the office and fire her in front of everyone, such a poor woman.' and the pity in their eyes will shine through and I'll know they know. So no Will people don't just forget.'

Alicia walks away form Will and away from the building, heading through the park. Will takes a second before he chases her and grab her hand. Holds it just a few seconds longer than needed because she stopped right away and looked at him.

'Leesh you never even let me ask or say what I wanted this meeting for. We want you back, we need you back, I need you.'

' No Will not now, I couldn't.'

'Yes you could, You could be named partner and have my office. Please.'

'Will. i can't walk back in there. Not now and I don't know if I ever will. Theres too many memories, to much hurt and I don't want that to be something I walking into everyday.'

'What will you say…'

Alicia tightens her hands into fists, thinks about punching Will in the face, hard. Wonders why she has had such violent thoughts recently but puts it down to stress. Interrupts Will mid way through his sentence.

'I'll say the truth Will, don't worry. I won't use my statement to smear you reputation or precious firm.'

Alicia storms away now heading to her car and then home. Will gazes after her feeling stupid and angry at himself all over again.

'Idiot!' He states to himself as an elderly couple walks past and looks at him, he ignores them and returns to the firm. To his office, his face like thunder. Diane swerves round to his office and looks at him, think better of going in there just now as he starts throwing a base ball against the bathroom door and catching it. Her guess is the meeting with Alicia didn't go well and she did't want to talk to Will right now with the apparent mood he is in.

**So I managed to get these both up in one day for you guys. As a sorry for taking so long. Currently I don't have a beta but if anyone is interested in looking over my chapter and helping me out before I post I would be most thankful. Again comments are always welcomed.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Again sorry for such a long wait for this new chapter. Thanks for everyone who is reading and enjoying my story. My time at camp has come to an end so I am now back home. So I should have a lot more time to update. Thanks again to everyone who has commented! And for continuing to read even when it takes me a while to update. **

Alicia walks through the streets now, past her car. She can always pick it back up later. Trying to clear her head she walks for a good few miles before her feet start to hurt as much as her head does from all the thinking. All doors are open for her now. Well, not all but she has choices, hard ones she does't want to make. She could forgive Will in time, when she thinks about it, it's almost a compliment at how mad he would have been at her if she had really left him. But the hurt that he could believe she would ever leave him is still there. The hurt at the fact that, it would truly kill her not to be able to walk into that office and see him everyday and that scares her. And it hurts that he didn't know that. Scares her in that she can't remember ever thinking this way about Peter, not really, even in the beginning. That need to see him, be close to him and touch him was never the way it was when she thought about Will.

Peter is yet another problem she does't want to face. Stopping she looks up and can't tell where she is. But she keeps on walking like a woman on a mission, who cares about the looks she is getting from passersby. She gets looks all the time. She keeps on going until her feet are bleeding and blistered and its started to rain, her hair plastered to her face. Jumping into the first coffee house she sees, ordering a cup of coffee, Alicia pulls out her phone.

Its take a while but finally someone answers. Alicia asks them to come pick her up and gives the address of the coffee place.

Will is still sitting in his office with his face like thunder when the rain starts. He has already made two interns cry today since he got back from his meeting with Alicia and Diane has transferred all his calls into her office. He gets up from his chair and walks out onto the floor. He strolls around until he finds Diane.

'We need to talk.'

Diane tries hard to suppress a smirk, she really does but still the edges of her mouth creep up and she shakes her head.

'Its about time. I thought you were going to sulk in there all day. Come on I'll bring over some coffee. You go sit down. I hope you've been thinking of a way to undo all this mess while you've been shut in your office all day.'

Will looks up at Diane, his face tinged with embarrassment and shakes his head ever so slightly.

'I was hoping you had an idea actually.'

'Typical, the man makes the mess. The women are needed to clean it up. And I thought I had broken through the glass ceiling.'

In Diane's office Will slouches in the chair in front of her desk. Diane walks past to sit on her chair with two cups of coffee in her hand, she hands one to Will.

'So I'm guessing you got a no.'

'I got a big fat stuck it up your…'

'Will!'

'I got a no. Okay. I even offered her a partnership and my office and she still said no. Too may memories and too much hurt she said.'

'It's not like I can't see where she's coming from. Maybe if I was to talk to her. Apologise as well, even for friendships sake.'

'It couldn't hurt I guess. She's making a statement soon. Try and get her before then.'

Diane takes a big gulp of her coffee while Will sits and stares at his.

'A statement to the press, about the video?'

'Yes, what else?'

'Well, do we know what she is going to say? This could be very bad for the firm Will. She could be feeling spiteful and do more damage on purpose.'

'I may have made it slightly worse by asking her what she was going to say, so my guess is she could be feeling spiteful but she's not her husband. She'll push this issue a side as nothing just to annoy him. I don't think we have to worry too much.'

'I don't think you know Alicia as well as you say you do though Will. If you did we wouldn't really be in this mess. So I'll ask again. Is there a chance we will need damage control after this statement?'

Will looks out the window, his hands gripping round his coffee mug, his eyes are slightly misted.

'I guess there could be a chance we will need damage control.'

Diane walks to the front of her desk and leans against it, puts her hands round his and wills him to look at her, he does.

'I'll call someone for some advice, see how we should handle it if it happens. But you could be right and she will just clear it to the side. Lets hope her will to annoy her husband is more than her will to hurt us.'

Alicia is lying in a bath, her eyes closed and peaceful. She remembers taking a bath with Will. It was just one time throughout their relationship or whatever they had. It was in a fancy hotel in New York. Ashbough had been particularly trying that day and a nice long bath was just what she needed. She felt hands on her, could feel Will behind her washing her back in slow circles with a creamy coconut lotion. His hands slipping up over her shoulders every so often washing her neck, the tops of her breasts. Making her breath hitch every time he misses the tops of her nipples. She arches her back into his hands. Lets him know she wants his hands there. He lathers them with lotion and washes then off, giving her nipples hard squeezes to make her gasp. He kisses her neck then and lets his hands wander down her flat stomach, gripping her hips and then down to her core. He teases he, plays with her, never once touching her where she wants and needs it. She squirms against his hands, tips her head to the side and breathes into his ear,

'Will…please.'

He laughs at this, lets his hand circle her centre once more before he dives two fingers into her and curves them hitting her in just the right spot, his thumb making circles of her clit. Alicia's hands come up and grips his forearms, moaning in his ear. His erection was hard now, throbbing with need behind her and she wiggles her ass into it earning herself a groan from him. In retaliation he speeds up the rhythm of his fingers, bath water splashing up and over the side onto the bathroom floor. With her nails digging into his arms and her head thrown back into the side of his neck she cums biting into the soft flesh of Wills neck to stop herself from screaming out loud.

Alicia opened her eyes, and saw that not only was she alone but her bath had gone cold, her fingers turned to prunes. She lifts herself out the bath and drys herself off. Putting on her robe she walks outside to the kitchen in search of wine.

Veronica was already standing at the kitchen counter, wine glass in hand and another set out for Alicia. She pushed the full one towards Alicia and used her own to try and smother the smirk stretching across her face. Looking at Alicia she picks up a bag of popcorn form the counter then walks slowly towards the living room, turning round she see's Alicia take a sip of her wine.

'You know I came in to give you your wine in the bath, there's nothing like a nice long bath with a glass of wine. But you seemed too busy…'

Veronica walks more into the living room before she turns round again and smirks at Alicia,

'masturbating.'

Alicia chokes on her wine as her face becomes red with embarrassment. Veronica is in the living room now and shouts through.

'So are we going to talk about what you're going to do and tell my why I had to pick you up from a coffee shop all the way out in Racine?'

**Okay so I hope you enjoyed this one, I couldn't help but add the end in there. I will hope to have the next chapter done in a couple of days. I promise not to leave you guys waiting again for so long. Thanks again for everyone who is reading this and enjoying it. Please leave comments and let me know you thoughts. Its always appreciated. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry again for the long wait on this chapter. Hope you all enjoy. **

**I unfortunately do not own The Good Wife, that pleasure goes to the Kings. **

Alicia downed her wine before refilling the glass and walking slowly, to avoid the inevitable embarrassment, into the living room and sitting down next to her mother.

'You know its perfectly natural and…'

Alicia stared into her wine and murmured into it,

'Can we not, please?'

Laughing, Veronica put her hand on Alicia's knee.

'Come on Alicia, its funny okay. And I promise only to tell your brother and no one else.'

Alicia whips her head around to face her mother, shock and embarrassment etched across her face.

'Wait what mom, No! Don't you dare.'

Veronica throws back her head and laughs, then looks at her daughter with a smile on her lips.

'That was worth it just to see your face. Fine I'll not tell a soul. So you want to explain my trip into criminal city to pick you up?'

Alicia puts her now finished wine glass on the table and draws her feet up under her, she shrugs and looks at her mother. Veronica pulls Alicia's feet so she is laying across the couch, legs on top of her mothers. Veronica starts rubbing slow circles on Alicia's legs. Something she used to do when Alicia was a child.

'Do you want me to guess? Because I can't really help you if you don't tell me what your thinking. At least tell me what the hell that whole wandering in the rain to the worst parts of Chicago was!'

Alicia had the sense to look abashed at her mothers words. She gets up and picks up her empty wine glass, motions at her mothers half full glass who shakes her head. Alicia walks back from he kitchen with the bottle and her empty glass, fills it up and sits the now nearly empty bottle on the table. She takes a long swig of her wine and looks at her mother.

'Has my whole life been one big mistake?'

'What do you mean?'

'I can't remember the last time I was truly happy mum. And all I can think is, that as long as everyone else is happy, Grace, Zach, Peter, that if I wasn't happy it didn't matter because they were and when they were happy I could at least pretend to be.'

'What would make you happy Alicia?'

'Honestly, I don't even know. I thought I did, maybe he would but at what cost.'

Veronica takes Alicia and her own wine glass and puts it one the table, she can see the turmoil her daughter is in and has to take a deep breath not to let tears fall at how broken her daughter has become. She grabs Alicia's hands in her own, looks her right in the eye. Because of course she knows who he is, she just doesn't mention it.

'I think you deserve all the happiness in the world. What is it you want? Tell me and we can come up with a plan.'

'I'm still so mad at him.'

'Mad at who? Will? Peter?'

'Everyone.'

Alicia takes her hands from her mothers grasp, wipes the tears that have managed to fall from her eyes down her face.

'You love him, don't you. And he broke you heart.'

'No mum, I think I broke his.'

Alicia looks at the pictures on her walls, all of her children, of her old life and sighs.

'I have to divorce Peter. I don't love him. I just love the kids to much to hurt them like that. To finalise it.'

'Finally, I knew you would come to yours senses one day. That man reeked of bullshit the first day I met him. You never listened to me though. Married him anyway.'

'Mum! I would never take back my time with him, he gave me Zach and Grace all the pain was worth just seeing them smile and be happy. This could destroy them.'

'Alicia. Those children of yours, adore you. They really do. And if you sit them down and tell them the truth, the whole truth, because they are old enough to hear it. They will see that you're not happy. And they will realise in time that its for the best.'

'Peter will be mad.'

'Fuck Peter, the asshole does not deserve you.'

Alicia smiles at her mother and curls into her side, closes her eyes.

'We've never done this before you know.'

Alicia opens her eyes to peer up at her mother.

'What do you mean?'

Veronica runs her hands through Alicia's hair, cupping her cheek.

'You always went to your father when you had a problem. I like that you came to me.'

'Me too mum, I love you.'

'Love you too.'

The next day looked that much brighter for Alicia, she showered and washed all the stiffness from her body that went with falling asleep on the couch. She straightened her hair, put on casual clothes. Jeans, an off the shoulder silk top and some black ankle boots. She went with minimum make up, soft and light. She smiled at her reflection, feeling like she was on her way to being truly happy for the first time years.

She left the apartment and headed for the office.

As soon as she walked into Peters campaign office she felt her happiness begin to wane. She loved this man once, she really did. And her children, she loved them more than the world. Could she really do this to them, all for her own happiness. She shook her head. Yes. Yes she could because she wasn't selfish. She had tried and she had put herself to the side for as long as she can remember. She needed to be happy and Peter just didn't make her happy anymore not really. She would go to the press conference, the one Eli so helpfully set up for her to talk about the video. She hated it, how people felt they could dictate to her what she should do and what she should say because she knew as soon as she went through the door to his office there would be a speech there waiting on her to read. And there was of course, she didn't even spare it a glance just put it in her bag as soon as Eli handed it to her, she asked for Peter, who was not there. It annoyed her, that he knew this press conference was all set up and that he wasn't even going to be there for it. Not that she really wanted him there but it truly hit home, he should want to be here, if he really loved her he would have made the effort.

Standing there on that podium with the pre-written speech in her hand, she didn't want to read it, it was all lies and not even a little bit like what she wanted to say. It cast Lockhart, Gardner in such a bad light and made her look like such the abused little employee that she set them down and told the truth. To the shock of the whole audience and to an incensed Eli who was about pulling his hair out. She forgave Will for his actions and let the press know that he was simply mis-informed about the employees leaving, mistaking her for being one and being so hurt because they had been friends for so long. Longer than she had been married to Peter. And she forgave him for everything. Laughed it off as him being simply a passionate man who simply acted out due to the hurt he felt at her leaving.

When asked if she was going back to work in the same office she laughed, and said as much as she loved working there, as much as they begged to have her back. She felt free now to do whatever she wanted. And so she was going to start her own independent firm. All by herself. People cheered then, as if they could tell what she meant that it was more than just her professional life.

**Okay so I feel like this story will be wrapped up in the next couple of chapters, I haven't got round to quite writing them but I know roughly what I want to happen. Thank to everyone who comments, you guys rock. Hope you enjoy this chapter, it was really hard for me to write but I hope you enjoyed it. **


	9. Chapter 9

**I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter. Thanks again to everyone who comments and follows my fic. It really makes me want to post as soon as I can. Sorry I can't post as often as I would like. I am currently also writing two short films and a feature script for my creative project class at university so I am swamped with writing. This chapter was decidedly harder than I originally thought it would be. I hope you enjoy it.**

Will heaved a huge sigh of relief after watching Alicia's press conference, he was sure somewhere Eli and Peter were spitting bullets but he didn't care, in fact it made him chuckle just a bit at the image. The firm would be okay, they could get past this now. The look of shock on Diane's face annoyed him. He didn't understand how she could have thought that Alicia would ever be so vindictive and drop the firm in the shit so to speak. He's even more annoyed with himself that he thought for a second that it was even distinctly possible that Alicia would use that press conference to try and ruin the firm. He hates himself in that moment, after her beautiful speech, when he was so relieved. How could he of ever doubted her? Even after all he had done she was still just so, Alicia. His Alicia. Always his Alicia. But not really his, never really his. Getting up out of his seat he leaves the office. It's still early afternoon but he needs a drink. A strong one.

Alicia pretended to listen as Eli and Peter talked over and at her continuously.

'Did she not know how much this could have helped Peters campaign?'

'Did she not want Peter to win?'

'What do you mean you're going to start your own firm?'

'How?'

'Why?'

On and on they went asking questions and not waiting for an answer from her. Until they walk over to side of the room away and start strategising their next moves for the campaign leaving her sitting on the couch. Eli shooting her dirty looks and Peter glaring at her every so often. She sighs and picks up her bag and coat and walks out the door without saying anything. She reaches the elevator when Peter comes storming out towards her.

'Where are you going?'

Theres a long pause, Peter glares at his wife while Alicia simply looks bored, the elevator door opens, she gets in and looks at Peter.

'Home.'

The doors close and Alicia steps back to the wall of the elevator and sighs. She runs her hand over her face and through her hair and smiles, then laughs. Typical Peter always thinking of himself and his damn campaign.

Walking through the streets of Chicago yet again, this time with purpose, head held high a smile gracing her face. Knowing she wants to start her own firm, a thought occurs to her. Something a bit crazy and a bit mad. But there was nothing left for her to lose now. And it could be a whole new adventure to embrace.

Being a lawyer was something Alicia loved, the adrenaline of new evidence that may give her a win. Arguing their side and seeing the jury is on her side, winning a case. She loves it, and it's a part of her. When she gave it up for Peter and for the children. She missed it. She missed it more than she thought possible. Alicia remembers when Peter would come home late from woking a case and he would go over the files with her. He would ask for her help and they would go over all the evidence and she would help him make his case that more better. Help get a win. She was so happy then, when she felt like Peter needed her for more than making his dinner and washing his clothes. Once he came home from a whole day in court, exhausted feeling like there was no way he could win his case. Alicia looked over the files for him, finding information he had overlooked.

When he won that case at the states attorneys office he was offered his promotion to deputy. He was so happy and she was so happy for him. Remembers him coming home with a bouquet of a dozen red roses. Kissed her so hard against their front door, she had to remind him they had children through the next room. That night was some of the best sex she had ever had with Peter. He was insatiable all night, could hardly wait to be inside her. When the children had been tucked in and each told a bedtime story, Alicia walked down the stairs towards the living room where she thought Peter still was waiting. At the bottom step he grabbed Alicia and pushed her to the floor of the bottom step, pushing up her loose fitting skirt and settling in behind her. Gasping out at the suddenness of his movements trying to remember the last time he was so rough with her.

Definitely before their children were born thats for sure. Grabbing hard onto her shoulders laying Alicia face down on the carpets stairs, head to the side so she could still see her husband as he rubbed his penis up and down her core. Waiting for when she would be ready enough for him to enter. It didn't take long, she was wet the second he had pushed her to the floor. Peter slammed into her, pulling her hair back in a tight fist, his other hand clenched around the top of her shoulder digging into her collarbone. His pace was relentless, and she tried so hard to keep quiet for the sake of the kids, but moans and gasps soon filled the stairway. Peter suddenly speed up, if that was even possible, and attacked Alicia's clit with his fingers. Both came within seconds of the other and collapsed onto the stairs. Alicia laughed and hid her face on Peters chest. He squeezed her on top of him tightly and absently stroked up and down her back. He kissed the top of her head then and told her that he loved her. Eventually they moved up the stairs. And continued to make love well into the night. It wasn't until the next morning that Alicia realised Peter had never once thanked her for her help on the case that got him the promotion.

Alicia shrugged off the memory as she walked down the Chicago streets. It was sad to think that back then, in her happy memories of her marriage there was still elements of Peters selfishness. Clues to the way her marriage would end up.

Walking into a building she had been in before, she took a deep breath and steadied herself and made her way up in the elevator. She didn't even have an appointment but she doubted the person she was there to see would mind her visit. At least she hoped not. Walking past the busy secretary Alicia opened the door to an office. An incredibly messy office with files and rubbish strewn everywhere and a spaced out red head tapping the side of her laptop and muttering.

'Why won't you turn on!'

The woman then looks up at Alicia in her doorway trying to navigate the way across the mess. Getting up and walking straight over all the mess on the floor, arms spread out ready for a hug.

'Alicia. Hey.'

'Elsbeth. How are you?'

**Thanks for reading folks. Comments always appreciated. I'm still not sure on the Peter memory but I felt like Alicia would have good memories of their marriage and I wanted to write one. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope to have the next chapter up soon for you all. **


	10. Chapter 10

Elsbeth wraps Alicia in a big hug, inhaling softly. Alicia falls into the hug and allows it for a second, needing the closeness of someone to make her feel better. Elsbeth steps back looking at Alicia,

"You smell nice, what perfume is that?"

Elsabeth walks back to her desk signalling for Alicia to follow.

"Those earrings, where did you get them? Come sit down. Wait I'll move those for you. Do you want anything water, coffee?"

Elsbeth takes a huge pile of files from a seat to allow space for Alicia, she nearly topples over the weight but manages to slide the files onto the floor creating even more mess. She pours her self a water and motions to Alicia. Alicia gracefully takes the vacated seat and crosses her legs, back straight but otherwise at ease with Elsbeth and her craziness. A slight smile on her face. She looks to Elsbeth and shakes her head to indicate she is fine and doesn't need anything to drink.

Elsbeth sits down in front of Alicia,

"I find myself in of a lawyer. And you're the only one I truly trust anymore Elsabeth."

Elsabeth perks up at this, smiles at Alicia.

" What do you need Alicia. I'm here to help."

Alicia walks into her apartment, hangs up her coat, puts her bag away and flops down on the sofa leaning her head back eyes closed. She can feel herself drifting off when she feels someone sitting down next to her curling in beside her, their head on her shoulder. The same again on the other side. She cuddles into her children not wanting to get up. They sit like that for roughly ten minutes before the sound of her stomach rumbling makes them laugh. Zach sits up and looks at his mom.

"Can we get pizza? Please?"

"Yeah mom, please."

Alicia laughs and picks up her phone bringing her feet up beside her she dials.

"Okay who wants what?"

Once the pizza was delivered and then devoured with Zach eating more than his fair share she looks at her children. Her babies who it feels only yesterday used to scramble and fight to sit on her lap and have her tell them stories and give them big kisses. She looks at how grow up they are, how strong. She watches as Zach steals the last bite from Grace and shoves it in his own mouth. How Grace pushes him as he opens his mouth wide for her to see. She scolds him gently, hiding a small smile at their juvenile antics and gives Grace her own last slice as compensation to her stolen bite. Alicia takes a breath and looks at them again,

"So I wanted to talk to you both."

They both smile at each other and dramatically swivel their heads towards their mother, crossing their legs and trying their best to look serious. They fail and start to laugh. Grace jumps over and sits next to her mom.

"So you're staring your own firm?"

Zach then sits next to his mother and looks at her.

"And you're finally going to divorce dad."

Alicia sits there stunned at her children, she can feel the tears threatening to spill at the edge of her eyes.

"When did you pair grow up? I don't like it. Go back to being tiny and cute."

Zach looks affronted and shocked,

"I am cute, I'll have you know at least three girls in my class think so."

"Ew are they blind?"

"Grace be nice."

Zach sticks his tongue out at Grace who glares back at him. They snuggle down with their mom.

"So you're both okay with this? With all of this?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes Zach honestly."

"I feel fine about it. I mean I feel guilty that we made you stay with him for so long. When I think about it, after everything happened I should have made it easier for you to leave him. Both of us should have. He doesn't make you happy. I just want you to be happy."

"Yeah mom. We just want you to be happy."

"You both make me so happy everyday. You know that right? And don't ever blame yourself for me staying with you father, I still loved him then. I do now. It just not the same, at least I can say that I tried to make it work. And that no matter what we will always have the two brightest, kindest and cutest kids in the world."

"Good. Can we have ice cream now?"

"Yes Zach we can have ice cream now."

"Oh with chocolate syrup?"

"Yes Grace with chocolate syrup."

Alicia decided it was best for her to deliver the papers to Peter. They hadn't talked about it not really. She had hinted but he always changed the conversation, would guilt her into another event or interview. Using the kids against her, his career then hers. She had had enough and with her conversation the other night with her children she didn't fear for what it would do to them as much. They could be civil, friends even. But they could no longer be husband and wife and she knew that for certain.

Walking into his office was always a novelty for her, people would walk the other way to give her space. Others rush up to take her jacket and offer her tea, coffee and refreshments. She would laugh if it wasn't so sad, they had never met her, never really talked to her yet they all acted as if they feared her mere presence.

She walked right into Peters office, a straggling secretary running behind her grabs the door before it bangs opens. Peter is standing with his back to the door, leaning against his desk hands gripping the side. His head whips round at the sound of the door, scrambles to right himself. His face blushing red as he turns round. Startled. He catches his breath,

"Alicia! What are you doing here?"

" I need to talk to you. I'll wait outside while you have whoever that is leave."

Alicia shakes her head as she leaves the office to stand outside, the secretary looking at a loss for what to do just walks away and sits at her desk every so often looking up to check on Alicia waiting for the intern to make her way out of Peter office.

Alicia can't help but be somewhat relived, it'll make this conversation so much more easier to have. No "I love you Alicia, you're my world" will work now. She knows now not to be so naive.

She watches as a young brunette surprisingly, hurries out of Peters office, head down and rushes along the corridor. Alicia fights the urge to follow her, pull her hair and make a scene right here in the office. It still smarts, niggles at her confidence and self worth but she throws it off. Knows that she is better than those woman. Remembers a time when Peter had just been elected States Attorney. How happy he was, how happy they were. How every so often he would forget a file or need a new tie and she would run down to his office, greeted with smiles and nods from his staff as they lead her to his office. Where she would hand over the file or fix his tie only to mess it up again as he would kiss her. Fiercely, tell her to be quiet because they don't want anyone to hear as he would take her over his desk. Or push her to her knees, with that look in his eyes begging her to please him. And she would, despite popular belief she never minded doing that for him. She knew he would always return the favour at some point so she would do it. Just to please him.

Peter peaks out the door in his office, clears his throat, opens his mouth.

"Don't. Just don't."

She pushes past Peter and is about to make it into his office when Eli appears about to join them. She whips round and puts her hand out pushes Eli back none too gently.

"Eli. Can I help you?"

Eli for a second looks stunned but recovers well. He makes to walk back towards the office but stops with the Alicia stare he is getting.

"I thought we could go over some more events. An interview has come up…"

"No Eli. Now please leave me to talk to my husband alone."

Peter stares at Eli, wishing for him to come in. Eli steps forward again.

"Come on Alicia it'll take 5 minutes tops, then we can have one of the guys drive you home."

Alicia straightens up and huffs out a biter laugh.

"Eli. I'll make this clear, either I can have a private conversation with my husband alone in his office. Or we can have the same conversation out here in front of everyone. Which would you both prefer? Because right now I have no preference."

Eli raises his hands and steps away, Alicia marches into Peters office. She watches Peter hesitate to leave the safety of his office door and shouts, well more like barks to him to get in.

She can't ever remember Peter being like this, head down avoiding her eye. Ashamed. Even after the hookers he looked her in the eye. Not now though.

"Peter…,Peter would you look at me."

"Im sorry Leesh it meant nothing at all. She came on to me. I tried to…"

"Peter shut the fuck up. Just, fuck you Peter. I wanted to come her and have a civil conversation. But that ship has sailed. I want a divorce. I had Elsbeth draft up the papers. Sign them."

"Alicia. You can't just spring this on me. That's not fair. I don't want to divorce you. Think of my career. I wouldn't survive the next election."

"I love how you first response to divorce is how it will effect you, and your career. Not how it would affect our children. Who I've talked to and are fine with it by the way. Stop being a selfish ass hole and sign those papers. I had Elisabeth split everything fair. Look over them. Sign them. Let me have a chance to be happy again."

She didn't wait for whatever he was about to say she just stormed out of the his office. Feeling lighter than she had in years.

Eli of course was waiting for her outside. She sent him her best icy Alicia stare and walked away. Him suitably cowed not to follow her.


End file.
